Monday, November 1, 2010

My 4-year-old!

Some kids stick things in power outlets...Mine takes them apart leaving exposed wires protruding from the wall.

Some kids color on the wall...Mine uses a hammer and nails to make holes and then stick things in them.

Some kids ride their bikes...Mine uses a wrench to completely disassemble his.

Some kids talk on the phone...Mine sends 57 incoherent text messages to one person.

Some kids will sit and watch a movie...Mine figures out how to get into the special features menu and watches said movie in Russian with french captions (he also changed the language for the menu so we can't change it back).

Some kids play games on the computer...Mine somehow renamed and moved several important files and sent an email to my professor that simply read "ben ben ben ben ben..." and so on.

Some kids have snacks...Mine takes 20 Capri Sun pouches, 2 boxes of crackers, and 1 package of cookies outside and feeds the neighborhood.

Some kids play in the bath...Mine floods the bathroom and tells me it's "Cuz I needed to do my trick."

Some kids wear Iron Man underpants...Mine wears 1 pair of Iron Man underpants, 1 pair of Spiderman underpants, and 2 pair of Star Wars underpants at the same time, all backwards so he can "see the picture," because he couldn't decide which one he liked best.

Some kids sing songs in Primary...Mine spends the full 45 minutes relating the following story to his teacher, "Hey Sister Johnson, you know that pencil you gave me? Today I was biting it and the eraser came off. Then I tried to push it back in and my mouth bleeded a lot and lot and lot. And it was hurting a lot and lot and lot..." The story continues but you probably get the idea.

As I have been writing this my son, who is supposed to be taking a nap, has attached one end of a shoelace to the doorknob and the other end to the vacuum. Something is telling me that whatever he is doing will not end well...but on the other hand, I really want to watch and see what happens.

Oh wow, now the shoelace is also attached to a laundry basket...


  1. wow you have on smart, generous, funny, and not tired kid. i love that little guy.

  2. That's hilarious. I love you guys. Benjamin is definitely a smart kid. Love ya

  3. That is hysterical!! I was just rolling from beginning to end!! Kyle is 18... he has been that way too from day 1, and is still that way! Now it is just bigger tricks, and bigger things to take apart... lol. Now my 7 yr old is doing the same thing... Keep writing this stuff down... they will never believe they actually did this stuff! Hugs to all of you!

  4. Well put! No story about the vinegar though.

    My fav is the bathtub one...