Saturday, February 27, 2010


I don't know if every Dr does this but at my Dr's office when you are between 20 and 26 weeks, they do a "Targeted Ultrasound." In this ultrasound they look at the babies development and measure all the organs and things to make sure everything is normal. When I was pregnant with Benjamin, this is where they discovered his heart condition. As our appointment gets closer, I can't stop thinking about that day. I remember the ultrasound lady going to get my Dr. I remember him saying, "There is really no easy way to tell you this..." I remember all the tears, guilt, and most of all, people's hurtful comments.
I still don't understand why women who use drugs and alcohol throughout their pregnancies can have perfectly healthy babies and when I had done everything right, my baby was broken.
This experience made me realize how fragile life is. How much everything I do effects the child growing inside me. What if his heart condition really was my fault? What if this baby has more serious problems? These are the questions that go through my mind everyday.

1 comment:

  1. It does suck that people can do anything they want and sometimes their babies are okay. I feel that way every time I miscarry (which is often).

    I do, however, believe in prayer and in positive thinking. And when we have prayed, whether or not our answers come in the way we desire, all things are for our good.

    Wishing you many blessings!